What am I to learn...

There are some moments when I feel like a failure of a mom. This morning I went to change the laundry while my friends were eating breakfast. I came back into the kitchen to see that Ruby had already dropped one plate of poached egg crumbs to the floor and in her hand was a second plate to drop. As I looked at the floor running through my head were the words I quit. My quick plead for her to not drop the second plate brought a quick smile to her lips and a quick release of her tiny fingers grip on the plate and it to dropped to the floor. The tears came not quite knowing how I was going to muster the energy today to pick up the eggs that were scattered all over the floor and show love even in the midst of my frustration.
I quietly picked up Ruby and carried her to another chair for time out. I picked up the plates and prayed as I retrieved the broom that the eggs would actually sweep up and not stick to the floor. I managed to clear the walking path before eggs were tracked to other parts of our house and Ruby sat nicely in time out. Everything was ok.
My thoughts of failure in moments like this make me wonder if I am teaching enough. My mom used to always to say to Noelle and I when our rooms or jobs were not done were you raised in a barn! This morning I wondered if my little friends think the same that they can treat our home like a pig sty! I know that's not true and that there is something for me to learn to day, I must of needed some refining this morning, a test of the things I am trying to practice. To show an increase of love instead of flying of the hook when the crazy moments of life happen. A few thoughts from this talk that has taught me a lot.

Discipline comes from the same root word as disciple and implies patience and teaching on our part. It should not be done in anger. We can and should discipline the way that Doctrine and Covenants 121 teaches us: “by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness and pure knowledge” (verses 41–42).

A sweet and obedient child will enroll a father or mother only in Parenting 101. If you are blessed with a child who tests your patience to the nth degree, you will be enrolled in Parenting 505. Rather than wonder what you might have done wrong in the premortal life to be so deserving, you might consider the more challenging child a blessing and opportunity to become more godlike yourself. With which child will your patience, long-suffering, and other Christlike virtues most likely be tested, developed, and refined? Could it be possible that you need this child as much as this child needs you?

I so need my little friends. The schooling that I need as a parent currently come packaged as a 2, 5, and 8 year old. I feel so privileged to be a mom that can be with them everyday. They love me unconditionally, they strengthen me, they help me to be better, they always see the good, they forgive me, they are my best friends and I love them more than words can ever express. I pray everyday that I will be able to meet their needs individually and have understanding of how I need to parent each of them.
The eggs have been swept into a pile. The plates will be washed. But in this moment I have only gratitude in my heart for opportunities that pull me, push me, stretch me. There are lessons for me to learn every moment of everyday. I hope I will be able to develop the Christlike attributes that are needed to live eternally with my family.